My Personal Opinion and Reflection of Love

No matter what your race is, how old you are, or the educational or cultural background that you have, to some extent, people will try to find love. The love they pursue may take different forms. But some aspects of life must consist of love. Even people like a pastor (who choose not to marry anyone) generally will purely pursue God’s love. What about the majority of the population in the world? They also search for various forms of love, it could be love from parents, lovers, love for money, fame, and love for science. Those various types of love unite in one identity that love is blind.
Love is blind because in a certain situation when you do not necessarily know the things you love, even when you only know very little of it, you still adore it. The adoration can embody in some type of acts, like passion to know more, forgive, and never give up to understand and be with someone or things that you love. Moreover, even if we fail numerous times to understand something or we get disappointed because of what we love, we just cannot give up on pursuing what we love. We cannot ever get tired to know a person that we love, being with the person that we love, or to understand the science that we have a predilection.
That love is blind actually shows how it does not align with logic. Logically, you should be sure to love something when you have complete or comprehensive information or even facts about what you love. Once you know it entirely, then you can fall for it completely. But on the contrary, in many cases, it only needs one second, one statement, or one information to actually have interest in something and completely fall for it. The more you try to know what you love, the more love grows within you. The more love grows, the more you cannot control it.
That’s why people say if you still can control your feeling towards something or if you can still maintain or prevent such feeling to grow, then the feeling is not loving yet. In other words, when you love someone/something, you will not be able to control such feelings not to show, even if you have to control it, you will be in great despair and uneasiness.
But falling in love like that does not necessarily good or beneficial for the people who face it. Some people have gone through the worst stage of their live or even miseries because of heartbreak or failure to achieve what they really want to be in life. Some people can overcome it and grow stronger, while some people even hard to stand up for their life without the help of professional pieces of advice. Some people even choose to end their life. As the love is too big to achieve, when the hope has come to be very limited, it eventually will crush people’s hearts and make the people lose the motivation even for just living. This example is described by the tragic stories of Romeo and Juliet.

It was Sunday afternoon, February 7, 2021, in one of the famous coffee shop all over the world, and my first time trying to study GRE with a supporting paid application. I was so glad that I could use it and my little sister helped me to access it. The apps helped me to practice GRE with precise stopwatch/timing so that it gave reasonable pressure to me just like a real GRE test.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I thought I was in a state of a panic attack. I felt a tingling sensation in my head and all over my face. Additionally, my breath was felt harder and my eyes were shaking. I tried to breathe deeper. Do you know what was funny? I actually have ever been in such a circumstance, hard to breathe accompanied by dizziness. It happened once when I was working normally in the office more than 2 years ago. At that time, I used to prepare for applying for a scholarship for a master’s degree. I used to study after I ended working and at lunchtime between the working hours. As it was my first time to embrace such a condition, I was so shocked that I went to the emergency unit at the nearest hospital to get a medical examination haha. So that day, February 7, 2021, I remembered that first ironic-comedy event more than 2 years ago, then I laughed and cried at the same time. Natsukashii.
Remembering it also gave me the confidence to stay composed because I knew nothing would harm my health condition. After all, the last time I was in such condition, the doctor from the emergency unit said that nothing dangerous threatened my health as my blood pressure was normal. I tried to be relaxed in the coffee shop. I put my head on the desk to cover up my face because it would be embarrassing if someone saw me crying.
The tingling face is actually the second time I felt it too. The first time was around midnight when I pushed myself too hard to work around 1 am finishing budget planning for my group. My face tingling so much that I lose focus. Gladly my sister brought me a cup of hot milk and cover me up with a blanket to make me comfortable. After 15 minutes of laying in bed, I felt better and finished the budget around 2 am and sent it to my supervisor.
(Story will continue soon, hopefully within this month — April 2021).



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